Since many of you will be hitting this countdown as we are approaching the PEAK season for weddings...I've put together a checklist as to where you should be starting. Planning a wedding can be tiring, frustrating, and confusing. However, it should be a planning session that is fun and enjoyable at the same time. Why should you stress over it???
BAM! There's our DULHAN getting ready to embark on this exciting journey of planning a wedding. I will discuss each number in detail. If there are any questions, shoot me an e-mail and I will try to get them answered.
#1: Set Date:
Obviously you're not planning a wedding if there is no date set in mind! Well let's jump on that right away. In a Hindu West Indian Wedding, a couple's family typically consults with their family pundit (priest) to check for the right timing and period for the wedding. If you are religious, I highly suggest you do this. A lot of us may not realize this, but our daily actions are governed by the positions of the planets, sun, moon, stars, etc. The pundit typically needs the "right" or "book" name of both individuals, their date of birth (including day, month, date, year, and time) and their city/state of birth. This helps to determine their Raashi and which Nakshatra one belongs to. Don't try wrapping your head around it. I tried, and it's some pretty complicated stuff.
All other religions: I am not sure how it works with the other religions in the West Indian culture, but I will point out a few things. Decide on whether a holiday weekend works best for you or not. Typically, everything becomes more expensive with this route and even for your guests! They sure will not be happy. Then you will have to decide on what season or month you prefer to get married in. Many venues consider April to September peak months for weddings and this can vary with different venues. Peak months usually mean a higher price.
#2 Begin the Draft for Invitations:
This is the annoying part and it's usually boring. Trust me, you will want to start on this earlier. As for myself, I started this since my engagement party because I had to send out invites and thank you cards. I saved that list and started my wedding list based on that. West Indian weddings and Indian Weddings as a whole are typically grand in style and grand in size. Many times, you find that it involves families and friends that the couples do not even know! This is okay and is expected. Definitely get the parents involved! The last thing you want is at the end of the final list, someone pops in their head and then they just keep popping in. No! No! No!
The best thing to do is create a Spreadsheet (I used Excel in Google Docs). I have a spreadsheet all laid out for the relation, addresses, and all other important categories. I have this Spreadsheet available for YOU too! I charge $2 for the spreadsheet and you can edit the title to your suiting. Trust me, spreadsheets will be your savior! Email me for a copy. You will receive it right away! After you have started with the spreadsheet, I suggest you "share" it with your household. At least the people that will be reviewing and helping you with your list. Everyone can add/edit/remove on the list and it just keeps everyone in involved. Google Docs is easy to find on your computer, laptop, tablet, and even phone! When someone pops in your head, get to your document and log it!
*** In addition to logging on a spreadsheet, you can later create a Mail Merge for Labels. I helped a few of my friends with their weddings on this part. I've become a pro after all these weddings! Many of my friends chose to print out labels for their wedding invites. This becomes soooooo easy after you've already had them on a spreadsheet! Just do a Mail Merge on Word and Ta-Da! ***
#3 Discuss your budget:
This is something that has to be done collectively. Traditionally, the West Indian culture, the bride's parents were responsible for throwing the wedding. It was their event as they are "giving away" their daughter. Now, it's more commonly understood that both sides split the budget. In the beginning, I thought this was not important. But I soon found out that I could get so out of control if I did not focus and stick to my budget. It's crazy out there and some prices are horrendous but that's life. Some people afford and some don't. Your wedding will be beautiful no matter what. Make sure you choose a budget that is comfortable for everyone and does not leave you with debt to your name. You want to begin your new life with the hubby stress-free!
#4 Decide on Events:
For a Hindu Wedding, it's pretty easy. All week! Haha! No but seriously, there are events that could take up the entire week. Of course this is not convenient for everyone as this means more money! $$$
1. Satya Narayan Pooja/Katha - this is the first thing that should get done. It is typically done the month of, the week before, the week of, etc. Check with your pundit.
2. Mehndi/Sangeet - this is optional. This is usually a party that is thrown in honor of the couple where henna artists are invited (and paid) to apply henna on the bride, family members and friends. There's usually singing that happens and probably some choreographed dances. It's basically a fun night and a kick off to the wedding festivities.
3. Haldi Ceremony (Dig Dutty) - this is not optional. We are known for this rubbing of the yellow dye on our skin and it's something we have to go through on this night. There is a small pooja that is performed by the individual and the family. After which the dye is rubbed by little girls and the dig dutty is done. This is usually done by all the ladies. It's a pretty unique event and definitely fun. To all that I've been a part of, they usually have a tassa group there to add to the fun. The bride/groom has the dye rubbed on them every so often and from hereon, they are not allowed to leave the home.
4) Next Day is usually Relax Day and Bath. The Bride/Groom in their respective locations, take a bath. The aunt usually has to take some of the water of this bath and swap. The bride's water gets sent to the Groom's home and vice versa. I do not know how many still carry on with this tradition.
5) WEDDING DAY!
6) RECEPTION
7) Kangan (Kaakan)
That's 7 days of festivities. Did I not say a week??
#5 Hire a Planner:
Yes, I did mention me. I'm up for a nominal charge and decide on whether my services are needed for you. Many planners I've dealt with do not justify the amount that they charge. I'm in the business of helping people and it has been a longtime passion of mine. I've also done a lot of weddings. Contact me and hopefully I can be at your service.
Many times you say you will get to something and keep putting it off. I've been a part of so many weddings where this happens. Or, there's the groom side where he does not want to do his share. Can you blame him? This is where I come in. Things can get done. Nothing works best than when you have someone constantly at your shoulder pushing you forward. :) I know, I've done it. It works! Think about it. If a planner is in your budget, then shoot for it. Let them do the work that you don't need to stress about. However, it is important for you to have an idea of what you want before consulting with a planner. This way, they can figure out where your resources will come from. This is typically discussed in your consultation.
Are any of the dulhans out there working on anything additional to my list? Do share!
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